During the "reinvention of my life" -- from a "we" to a "me" -- many challenges have been hurled at me from all sides....from being a couple to a single, a two-car family to a one-car "me", and most importantly, married to widowed being the most traumatic. Those of you that went from married to divorced are also transitioned from a "we" to a "me" possibly with children involved. The same applies either way. This is a new life -- whether we choose to embrace it or not....it is who we are now. We cannot go back. We are in the thick of the daily battle. This is for all of you!
With God's loving guidance and provision I have made it through these changes but as you all know, it wasn't without heartache, tears and many hours of praying for grace as I traveled this journey.
My family, friends and church urged, pushed and prayed me through it and believe me, emphasis, at times, was on the "urged and pushed".....phone calls late at night when I was a complete mess, texts, emails, you name it...classic case of the "I don't know what to do with my life."
It has been over two years now and many, many milestones have been achieved. I have never been a "dash" type of runner, more like a "take a few steps - slow down -- breathe -- and then take off again. Steady on!
Writing has been an outlet and a passion for as long as I can remember. My other passion -- dancing is in my blood! I've managed to be moving in some dance pattern since the "ripe age of three!" Ballet, tap, ballroom, country & western....you name it...even a season of international folk dancing and English country dancing, as well. All of that disappeared when my husband passed away. It actually faded when he became terminally ill and I had to build a support system of family and dear friends to surround him with all the love and care we could muster. Because we are God's children and adopted into His family, this just came...people from all over were there to aid and care for not only Gene, but me, as well. It was truly amazing what friends and family can achieve when "duty and love" calls!
This isn't merely a story of grief but of GROWTH!
I've made it a point to keep busy since retirement...reading, writing (alas no arithmetic hehe), crafting, volunteering with the elderly, spending time with the most precious granddaughter in the world (ok so I'm gushing), and church activities. There was still an aspect that kept tugging at my "heart strings"....God was telling me to "get back on the dancefloor"....I KNOW in my heart that it was HIS desire to see MY desire fulfilled.
There have been occasions where I attempted to dance and I did do a rather reserved rendition of dancing....but (here's the rest of the story).
Last night, I went to my first ballroom dance class. I realized the biggest hurdle might be the "music" -- I was right -- Gene and I were partners in marriage and dance for seventeen plus years -- He was my dance instructor -- it's how we met. So the intimacy that dancing requires was difficult to say the least when trying to start up again. But I was able to push through it and take those initial steps, hearing those old memorable songs and "One, two, cha cha cha" -- one of my partners is a very accomplished dancer and put me through my paces....it was invigorating and challenging but I loved every minute of it.
Thanks to God for allowing me this introduction to an old familiar friend and gift....that of the DANCE!
People, find what it is you enjoyed once upon a time and see if God doesn't heal that part of your life and get you up and running....whether it's motorcycle riding, sports, whatever it was that used to be your passion, go ahead try it again. Push through whatever is stopping you....You are always able to ask the Most High for the grace and courage needed to begin again. Hurts run deep but God's healing runs much deeper.....
Eccl 3:4 "...a time to dance"